How the clan's weaknesses came to be
by Fey Croix
Summary: As the title says... here you learn who invented the weaknesses of the vampire clans.


Hello, everybody. I didn't write this, I only translated it. Don't know whos the author of this but I think it should be readable for more people.

Have fun.

Clan's weakness

Ventrue: Ok everybody. We've got one more problem. The children want to know in which way we are different… what it is thats makes us unique.

Toreador: That's easy… we are all unique… special… beautyful in our own way…we…

Brujah: Dammit, shut up! He means how to distinguish between the clans, you wet blanket.

Malkav: I never wet my blankets… they are so hard to catch this season.

Ventrue: Yes, Brujah. What it is… that devides us in different categories. What's our special trait. CLAN.

Brujah: Yeah… only one more try oft he boss tos horten the leash.

Malkav: Which boss?

Brujah: Shut up, before I beat you to a pulp, you lunatic.

Ventrue: *sighs* Any suggestions?

Toreador: Uniforms?

Tremere: Necklaces? Mystic pendants?

Malkav: Cheese… different cheese types. One for every clan. You can choose between different types, you know?

Brujah: *looks to Nosferatu* Sure… let me guess which on is Limburger…

Nosferatu: I heard that.

Ventrue: I thought something more like a… weakness… a… inconspicuous flaw.

Malkav: I vote for Kryptonite!

Brujah: *beats him on the head* Looks like I've got a fist of Kryptonite. SHUT UP!

Malkav: unnrk

Ventrue: Okay… Brujah… yours will be your irritability. For obvious reasons.

Brujah: IRRITABILITY? WHICH IRRITABILITY? … fucking suits… You would be grumpy too, if you had to sit between Nosferatu and Malkav.

Ventrue: *cough* Torrie, cause you love the arts… you will be know as the artist-clan.

Toreador: Tragic… and none the less… beautyful. That's all right.

Malkav: *quiet* I still want Kryptonite.

Brujah: *bang* Hehe. Irritability. Okay. Cool.

Malkav: Unnnngggh.

Nosferatu: *scatches his chin, skin peels off* And my… flaw?

*silence*

Ventrue: *shudders* We will come back to you. Gangrel, yours will be… every time you fall into frenzy… you'll look more like an animal.

Gangrel: WHAT? What do you mean with „you'll look more like an animal"?

Ventrue: It starts small… you know… fur… deep voice… maybe horns…

Gangrel: WHAT? Stop it right there… Torrie will be staring on pictures and I get an fucking BEAK? Yeah, thats really fair… *mumbles*

Assamit: And me?

Tremere: You won't be able to drink cainsblood… *laughs* It is poison for you. Your hair will fall off and in the end you will look like him. *points to Nosferatu*

Ventrue: All right.

Nosferatu: I'm still waiting.

*silence – Malkav chuckles*

Assamit: Why is TREMERE choosing my weakness?

Tremere: Accept it, boy.

Ventrue: Tremere… if Assamit isn't able to drink vampire blood… then you have to… drink from all you ancients.

Malkav: Nobody got Kryptonite by now?

Brujah: *bang* Irritability. I LOVE it.

Ventrue: Lasombra… hm… no reflection.

Lasombra: THAT one you should give to Nosferatu…

Nosferatu: I'm still waiting.

Ventrue: *cough* We're with you soon, Nosferatu… Is that acepptable, Lasombra?

Lasombra: Yes… but you have to tell me, when I got something in my face.

Ventrue: No problem. … Hmm… Tzim… your weakness shall be…

Malkav: To have a clansname nobody is able to pronounce or spell?

Ventrue: Yes. Eh… no. You have to sleep in the earth… of your homeland… or have some in your coffin…

Gangrel: WHAT? I get webs between my toes and THAT hast o sleep in dirt?

Tzimisce: That's all right.

Gangrel: I want a new…

Nosferatu: I'm still waiting… did you forget me?

*silence *

Ventrue: We're going on… Giovanni... Your kiss brings pain… no ecstasy from your bite.

Toreador: You can say that out loud…

*All looking to Torrie*

Toreador: Oh… sorry… did I spoke that loud?

Giovanni: *quiet* One little mistake… and he plagues you for all of your unlife…

Ventrue: Ravnos. You've got a criminal nature.

Ravnos: *gives Ventrue's purse back*I'm sorry.

Ventrue: *blinks while taking it* Ooookay. The money, too…

Ravnos: Oh, here… sorry.

Nosferatu: When do I get one?

Brujah: *silence* By birth…

*choked laughter*

Ventrue: Ahem… You over there… Seth… yours will be… you don't like light…

Gangrel: OH, FOR CRYING OUTLOUD! I got batwings and he doesn't like spotlights?

Malkav: Fly, little monkeys… flyyyyyyyy…

Brujah: *lifts his fist and Malkav twitches*

Seth: *grins* All right… thats fair and just. *winks*

Gangrel: *point to him* He WINKED! You two got an AGGREEMENT? … God Fucking snakes…

Nosferatu: If you keep on ignoring me… I'll become ugly!

Malkav: To late… *choked laughter*

Ventrue: Did I forget someone?

Malkav: Do I get the Kyrptonite?

Tzimisce: You, little man, got enough problems… you don't need an additional flaw.

Ventrue: Then it's decided…

Nosferatu: You've forgotten yourself… and I.

Brujah: Yeah. Mister Selective. What is YOUR flaw.

Ventrue: *smiles* I'm discerning… with what… I eat…

Gangrel: *standing up and knocks over the chair* I get an udder like a fucking COW and YOU have to sleep in earth? YOU are a delicate eater? YOU stare at art… and YOU… *finger stops with Nosferatu* … okay,… I think, it could be worse.

Nosferatu: I've got it. I'm the clan without weakness… understood.

Brujah: *laughs* Yeah… that's it…

Ventrue: *clearing throat*Meeting postpooned.

Malkav: *really quiet singing whe leaving* You… oogly… you oogly… and yer mama dresses you fooooney… you… oogly… you oogly…


End file.
